relapsed and i am always slightly drunk now. i buy big bottles of vodka and mix a strong drink every few hours throughout the day. i started spiking my morning protein shake with alcohol and most of my water intake is whatevers in the sodas i mix it with. i keep a flask on me to pour into whatever sodas or juice i have on hand. i drink right after i wake up and drink during breaks inbetween class. i drink on the bus home and drink once im there. i dont get very drunk or blackout but im not as sharp as i was before and i look and feel like s*** all the time

ive been wanting to inject ketamine into my veins again soon but im usually drinking and you cant mix k and booze. im a mess lately and still trying to function as best as i can while being a walking dumpster fire. life is hard lately and the only way out is through regardless of your state

-108