To the one that answered my: As a woman: I’m not of muslim faith, I am of christian values (Strong Agnostic lean on my part) My mother is black, so is all of my brothers. The babymaking ideal isn’t lost however. Personally I find myself financially and currently uninterested in procreating because that’s why my family is poor. Poor family planning. The ideal in my community places men as the bread winners (Many are not and are jobless, emotionally distant and unwilling/unable to fix their situations.) Being in the South makes it even worse because we are told mainly that the women stay home and take care of the babies while the male is out working. Many of them have families outside of home and the women down here are told to keep quiet, just allow him to take care of you and your bills and stay in a loveless partnership that leaves room for regret when you are older and thinking on your “I should haves.” In a sense, SOME of the black community has taken on some of those qualities and you are right, I am quite fed up with it. I’ve been trying to break many of the generational curses but I’m sure I’m not the only woman going through this.

If I were a mother at this moment, I would flee my own situation, but as it stands, I do not make enough money to support myself even with me working, and going to a shelter would be a last resort (If he turned to physical abuse.)

I have seen my mother down right slap the soul out of a 5 year old boy for crying rather than figure out what is bothering him (“He’s a boy and he shouldn’t cry so much.”) And then I look at my older and little brothers and see why they refuse to bare themselves raw in front of someone they are supposed to trust. I’ve seen her justify my older brother slapping my niece so hard that girl’s body shake from the recoil only to return with “She should know her place.” My mother was abused in an earlier relationship before I was born, and she made sure that she left that situation, why allow her girl’s her granddaughters and even someone else’s daughter to go through that? Her mindset sickens me, and while I love my mother, I would NEVER EVER THINK (If I have a change of heart later) to leave my children or any other impressionable child with her. I would rather them be taken away by child services first.

It is systematic and heartbreaking at the same time.