To: I tried so hard to love myself and to love my life
Me: You have the procedure the wrong way around. You have to accept your life, then you have to find meaning in it and finally, after many tries, you discover that you love your life, after all.
Everything possible will go wrong, life can be a right proper b****** and you have to learn to overcome many challenges of life and learn how to survive in the process and probably, only after you retire, if you ever do, you might find that you love life, after all.
It is how it is and there is no easy way from acceptance, to loving life, unless you are born into wealth, don’t have to do anything to survive from day to day and everything comes to you on a plate, because of your families wealth.
You are not alone in where you find yourself – everyone starts off just the same way as you do, but you are trying to reach for the impossible and you have the messages all mixed up and now I’ve set them straight for you.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start being proactive, after all, you won the lottery of life – of the billion sperm your father released into your mothers c***, when they fucked each other, yours was the only sperm which made it to your mothers egg, at precisely the right time and fertilized it, making you, all of the other sperm died, so you owe it to them, to do something worthwhile with your life, so those other sperm, any of which could have been “you”, did not die for nothing, don’t you.
You can understand why Hell is a short step away for those who suicide can’t you?
Hell for eternity, would be many times worse than living the life you have been given and doing something worthwhile with it.