I lie a lot. I say i’m happy. but i’m not. i feel ugly and fat fat fat. I lost 80 lbs in a year. Gained 10 of it back. But, i’m back on the track of healing my body. I just tried an under desk elliptical i LOVE it. it works. I have 50 more lbs to go. Then i’ll decide about my own future. My career goals and my man.

I don’t worry so much about “keeping” a man. I worry more about staying. I am a runner. i run real easy. I am one of the lucky fatties. I”m 5’9. my legs go on forever. I know how to be an ugly moose or a girl that looks like she stepped off a runway. No one skinny looks ugly in a burlap bag.

But being fat? I hate it. i feel terrible about myself. It bleeds into every aspect of my life.

And yes. Being fat does matter. And guys? Don’t kid yourself. Being BALD? and FAT yourselves? no girl wants a pig on top of her. And yes SIZE does matter. seriously. it does.

PS> you look SLOPPY Shave your ugly beard or trim it. but do something to clean yourself.

PSS> i hate sloppy guys. Yuck.