To: I have very bad thoughts about hurting my siblings and I am almost at my limit.
Me: you are almost out of control and things will get worse if you don’t break the cycle.
My advice to you, is to not get involved in an argument.
Once things start to flare up, turn around and walk out and go for a walk and come back when you have cooled off and never let yourself get drawn into the same situation again.
Every time they start something, just walk out.
Eventually they will calm down and then you have to think that once they are old enough to leave home, you boot them out, to fend for themselves and if necessary change the locks, so they can’t get back in again.
You only responsibility for them, is until they reach maturity, when they leave school and are expected to find work and fend for themselves and you can say you love them totally, but you don’t like them and whatever they do, after they have left home, was their choice and had nothing to do with you. Tough Love!!
I have your back, you can ask me for advice here.
R