To: i stopped loving my parents when i feared that they stopped loving me
Me: My parents were physically and emotionally abusive and they blamed me for everything that went wrong in their lives, although that had nothing to do with me at all.
My father once beat me so hard, I could not sit down for a week and each time I tried, they laughed themselves silly, to the point of tears, they thought I was so funny.
Later in life, my parents stole two years of my wages, by telling me lies which I believed, but later discovered were lies – they pretty much lied to everyone to advance their cause.
When I left school, my father said I owed him for every expense, my clothing, food and board and he expected me to repay it (probably why they stole my wages) like I fucked my mother and had me – Yeah right!!
My mother said she had a bad back and it was all of my fault and when I asked her “how so”, she said she slipped on the ice on a footpath when she was pregnant with me and I kicked in her stomach.
How can you be held accountable for that?
My mother told me I was a mistake. I am a male. The condom broke and they got me. They wanted a girl child to look after them when they got old and for my father to f*** whenever my mother did not feel like it.
Unlike you, I hated my parents with a vengeance. I used passive resistance (although I did not know how to describe it) so that they could not control me and everything my parents wanted me to be, I was the total reverse – I was the top dunce in school and it used to drive my father wild with anger and I used to get beaten severely by him, but each beating was a win for me and made me even more defiant.
My family line goes back to 2nd in command of William The Conquerors forces in 1066, but because I hated my parents so much, I decided I would never have children of my own and I never did – I brought up 5 step kids, but they were not mine by blood (only 2 still remain alive, according to social media) I moved from the country of my birth overseas and I have never returned to England, where my parents eventually died.
I was paid back what they stole from me, as my inheritance, at compound interest, almost to the Pound, but I did not get all of their estate, but enough for my life now and although I forgive my parents their sins to me, the pain never goes away, nor do the memories of that awful upbringing, but when you live that life, you don’t know that there is any other way, so it is how it is.
I understand where you are coming from, but you are taking the blame of how you were treated by your parents, to make you who you are now and that is totally wrong, so far as I am concerned.
You need to put blame where blame belongs, because you were only a kid and none of us are born with the whole box and dice of life and how we are supposed to live it, that is why we go to school, pass exams and decide what sort of life we will have when we “grow up”.
You need to sit down, forgive yourself your sins, don’t take the blame for anything and start moving forward in a positive way , so you can leave your past behind you, as I did and do something positive with the life you have been given, so you can be proud of who you are and who you become and work towards that as a final solution, for you, just the same as I did.
I can help you if you want help, to turn your life around and become a positive person and enjoy your life for all of the right reasons and none of the wrong ones.
The cure is Goal Setting and I have used the technique with 100% positive success whenever I needed to make radical change, to who I am and what I must do to survive and prosper.
Just ask me here and I will teach you what to do, but at days end, you are the only person who can help yourself and nobody else can do that for you.
Richard.