My wife had an affair with a married man. They never really went all the way, so to speak, when I found out eventually his partner did too. She did it because she had very low confidence when we met and settled for me, though our relationship was and continues to be rocky I wasn’t as bad as previous relationships and provided stability. The shame may make her want to run far away and never look back only because she feels guilty for potentially ruining their relationship to the point where she checks in on them regularly but ignores ours. That’s where the worst shame comes in, that his partner found out, not that it happened, so what does that say about me? What it says is maybe at one time we had something but that isn’t there anymore and it’s nearly faded away for me. I am ashamed, ashamed I ever let things get this far seeing so many red flags along the way. I only know that I will never do this again. I made mistakes and ignored hers.
