I cry everyday because I feel like shit for the things I did to my cat. It has been almost 10 years since he died but I still cannot get over it. I was an

6 years

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I cry everyday because I feel like s*** for the things I did to my cat. It has been almost 10 years since he died but I still cannot get over it. I was an awful person. Adderall turned me into an angry monster. I keep thinking about the pain and misery I put my cat through and I really want to kill myself. I hate myself. I cannot believe the thing I did to me. There was a time I starved him and refused his medical care and I abused him. When I was oversea, I used to feed stray cats/dogs and took them to the hospitals when I saw them got hit by a car, but I treated my cat/my baby awfully. Sometimes my cat was so scared that he peed himself. He was a wonderful cat. He was never aggressive to me even though I was awful to him. He never make a mess and he was well behaved, but I put all the anger on him. I was angry that I had to clean up after him…when I was the one who chose to have him and it was my responsibility. I thought about how my mom abused me and complained how she needed to clean up after me when I was a child. My parents used to beaten me with a belt, a broomstick, a brush and I thought about those when I abused my cat. My brain was broken and I couldn’t control my anger. I ruined my life. I ruined everything. I hate myself. I wish I were never born. I can’t stop thinking about the pain my cat had to experience, he was cold, hungry, scare and I think about that everyday. I thought I had I could abuse him because I had to clean up after him- the same way my mother abused me because she had to take care of me when I was younger. I got my cat when he was just a baby. He missed his mother. I brought a cat stroller and took him for a walk when I first got him. I got the nice toys for him, but then I turned into an angry person because of adderall. He was sleeping in a stroller, probably thinking about the time I was nice to him but I threw him out of stroller because I turned into an angry person. I made him sleep in cold hard floor and I left the window open in winter and it was freezing. I want to die. I was a disgusting person. I hate myself.

New Confession

remember that god will accept you no matter how far away you are from him, you just have to show some humility and ask him forgiveness. repent before the day of judgement, live righteously, live better not only for yourself but for the people around you. you will NOT be happy living the way you are now, in s***** depravity, in violence, in hate and greed and anger. once Jesus comes back, there is no second chance. the door is closed and you will be outside.

Related Confessions

Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.