My boyfriend thinks he is in control of our relationship by being emotionally withholding and breadcrumbing progression. At the same time, He's suspicious

6 years

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My boyfriend thinks he is in control of our relationship by being emotionally withholding and breadcrumbing progression. At the same time, He’s suspicious I’m cheating but I reassure him I’m not. I actually am though. I think it’s insane the amount of loyalty expected when he knows I require more. He gets upset and says I never cared when I want to give up on us. He also refuses to meet needs I have in the name of being “anti authority”(rebelliously immature)I cheat so I don’t become a “nag”. If I have any need he doesn’t meet I don’t even address it with him anymore. Entitlement makes ppl short tempered. I just find another guy. I have like 5/6 guys on rotation. Honestly there is no win in being too available/loyal to any guy unless you’re like married or w.e but honestly even then.

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Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.