I am seventeen years old. I didn't have the best time growing up and I ended up being young and addicted to drugs. I'm two days clean, and this is one of

6 years

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I am seventeen years old. I didn’t have the best time growing up and I ended up being young and addicted to drugs. I’m two days clean, and this is one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life. My parents don’t know about my problem. I stole money out of my mothers wallet when my paycheck wasn’t enough to support my habit. I lied about it too. I feel like I ruined my life and nothing is going to change. Most of the time, I seriously consider ending my life. I have lost all my friends and no longer have a relationship with my family. I feel incredibly guilty everyday for being alive because I am such a terrible existence. I am shameful, weak, an addict. I belong dead on the street. I’m sorry my parents ever had to raise me. I’m sorry to anyone who I no longer contact. I am a waste of money, time, love, food, oxygen, space, and everything my terrible existence consumes.

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Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.