After meeting you my beliefs have been shaken to my very core. I can not fathom living in this world without love And I can not believe at this moment that I will love anyone like I do you. I can’t believe I’m alone in this, I’ve seen you & heard you feel similar. I hate you for making me feel so weak. I hate you for being my perfect woman, for repeatedly telling me you’re thinking of me & yet refuse us being together. My heart is beyond the meaning of in pain when I think of you with someone else. I wish I could truly hate you so I could get over this. I love you dearly & want your wellbeing above my own… but I’m not a saint & I also want you selfishly for myself only. I cry on the inside everyday that I’m not with you. I think of you always & it saddens me that I have to become reserved just so I can be near you. I’m trying to be patient. So very hard. But patience isn’t the problem. Fear is. I fear you will be with someone esle & I will see… And I honestly don’t think I could handle it. You are the first person that truly makes me fit the sterotypical puerto rican mold… As a latin woman I actually get jealous because of you. In the beginning not so much because you were fearless… And now?? Do you care that being with me makes you gay? Or do you worry about your family?
I’m angry too… Why am I the only one with the balls to say what I think. To do as I say I will. I wish I never met you so I wouldn’t be so miserable at this time… but I love you, I love you even when I’m mad. I’m wrapped around your finger… Do you even know?
