I recently received a hug from a woman that is not my wife and is 16 years my junior. The hug was unexpected, even as a friendly hug, and I wasn’t prepared for it in the slightest. She put her arms over my shoulders and snuggled her face into the nape of my neck and didn’t say anything. If she did I was so taken aback I didn’t hear it.
It was amazingly intimate, tender and vulnerable all at the same time. But it sparked something in me for her that I also did not expect. Now I feel guilty because I find myself feeling emotions for this woman (love/infatuation/?) and obviously don’t have the latitude to find out what it’s done to me, what it did for her, and so on without destroying my marriage. I think of that hug every day, usually several times a day, and especially as I fall asleep.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt my wife, but at the same time I can’t deny the fact that these feelings exist. I can’t confide in anyone I know.