I almost cheated on my boyfriend.
It was a s** chat site and I didn’t say anything beyond “hey”- and then I closed it. I’m so overwhelmed with guilt; I don’t want this to be a cycle I don’t want this to be a repeated thing. I was so close to being happy but then I did this. My cycle of self harm is so unbelievably deep. I ruin things so I won’t be happy. I feel like I should tell him but if I did he would very much break up with me. He almost did last time so I can’t tell him, I can’t.
All I can do is move forward. I am not my actions, I am not bad. It was a mistake and I can move forward from it. I don’t have to drag myself and him into this hole. I stopped myself, I explained my thoughts, im confronting my issues, and I will move forward. I will be honest, I will be an honest person. I will let this go so I can move forward and be happy, so I can be a good partner. I love him, I want to love myself and be worthy of him. I want to be a treasure. I want to deserve love. I’m just such a fuckup. Please let me move forward from this. Please. My gods please let me change and give me one last chance.
Please take this guilt from my chest.