My girlfriend (long distance relationship), committed suicide because I am going to military bootcamp.
I don’t know how to feel right now..
On one hand: She could have very well been lying and just using the most innocuous method to dump me. But I’m not sure.
On the other hand: I did everything within my power to try to stop her. I talked to her, I tried to convince her, I did my absolute best at attempting to deter her. But alas, my efforts were insufficient.
A bit of a backstory here but we stated dating a month ago (literally) and I told her I was leaving for boot camp the minute she decided to want to be my girlfriend (I never chase for relationships, I’m too much of a nerd for that). She said she understood and would miss me. Given the moment the week comes that I’m about to leave, her dread sets in. She’s using blatant profanity, threatening to kill her self, or to kill me, all to keep me from going to bootcamp. I tell her that that’s a very irrational ultimatum, and that I already had signed the contract before we even started dating. I needed this opportunity in order to start my life, because the place I live doesn’t support my lifestyle and I’d be stuck in a hole, or worse, the streets, soon. If I didn’t employ this strategy. I tell her all of this, and yet she refuses to listen, saying I’m all she has left. I didn’t know at the time, but it’s possible that she was telling the truth.
She has many friends, family, acquaintances etc to aid her in her time of need. Yet she was stern on her ultimatum. She never understood that me, giving up my strategy for her was irrational, because my situation is far worse than she could imagine.
Fast forward to today, the literal one month anniversary of our relationship.She tells me that I am literally all she has left, she says that she was removed from her home, lost her job, and spent all the money at a local house. I was astounded. I had no idea things had gotten so grim for her. She also said that if she convinced me to stay, she would use the money to come stay with me (and frankly, my situation right now makes me wanna kill my self it’s so fucked up.) I tell her it wouldn’t be a good idea seeing as it’s literally hell where I am. She doesn’t listen, she doesn’t seek help, she doesn’t do anything to try to deter herself from committing suicide. I haven’t heard from her in the past 6 hours, ever since she said “I love you.” and I really think she either used suicide as a scape goat (which is really s***** move tbh, suicide is a real issue) or really committed suicide, and I’m an a****** for not being able to deter her enough.
I’m confused. I don’t know how to feel. This is the first time, anyone has died proprietary to my causing. Which really makes me hate myself.
Also, I’m “J” from a previous post and she said she still had the baby, so that’s fucked up.