I don't know how to feel things that have been going through. It might be as hard as the other people going through, I believed that. That's why I never

7 years

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I don’t know how to feel things that have been going through. It might be as hard as the other people going through, I believed that. That’s why I never complained for a long time and brushed everything off.

I want to seek help but I’m not doing well financially. I can’t open up to my parents about my suicidal thought. They considered it as a phase. I wish this statement were true. I did tried open up once by opening up to a counselor and my mom. My mother only warns me to never open up about it again because it will go into official record and I won’t get a job.

I want this to end for good. I’m tired. I’m going to sleep for sure this time. No one can stop me. Not even a comment or call or report.

New Confession

I’ve lost my Ego, self respect and dignity. I have nothing own nothing, am nothing but worthy of whatever the bully wishes from me. And what that means is that my life is to be exposed, exhibited. Be degraded daily by my bully so he can get off on his thrills of humiliating me in front of however many or little amount of kids happen to show up. The crowds apparently seem to get bigger as the days go by. My humiliation is becoming acceptance as routine is becoming comfortability. These pre adult children are masters at performing to show angst between disgust and desire. Which adds to the shame. Of what’s being done to me.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.