whenever I like a guy, I roast them continuously. of course it's in a playful manner, but it's absolutely terrible and I hate that that's the only way I

7 years

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whenever I like a guy, I roast them continuously. of course it’s in a playful manner, but it’s absolutely terrible and I hate that that’s the only way I think of expressing my feelings. I’m terrified of just telling them, because I don’t want to be rejected…so I never end up doing anything about it and all my emotions come out in the form of roasts. some point down the line, I realize I’ll never tell the person I like them so I should just move on. the problem is, when I try to move on I just become dismissive and annoyed all the time. that ends up destroying my relationship with them and we can’t even be friends. they also start thinking my roasting was actually legit, and I hate them. of course none of it’s true, but it s**** cause this could all be solved if I wasn’t such a scaredy cat and just said “I like you.” it can’t be that hard, can it?

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.