My grandma died. I knew she was going to die. I got the new this afternoon. When my mom told me she could barely finish a sentence she was sobbing so

7 years

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My grandma died. I knew she was going to die. I got the new this afternoon. When my mom told me she could barely finish a sentence she was sobbing so hard. My little brother cried for hours but I didn’t. I really love my grandmother and we had a great relationship but I didn’t cry. I already knew she was going to die. When I last saw her on Easter I knew it was the last time I’m going to see her alive. I hugged her real tight and she told me to take care of myself. I love her so much but I just can’t cry. I feel like I’m already over the first few stages of grief because I knew she was going to die. I feel bad about not calling her on mother’s day even tho I know she would’ve been too weak to even pick up the phone.

New Confession

I’ve lost my Ego, self respect and dignity. I have nothing own nothing, am nothing but worthy of whatever the bully wishes from me. And what that means is that my life is to be exposed, exhibited. Be degraded daily by my bully so he can get off on his thrills of humiliating me in front of however many or little amount of kids happen to show up. The crowds apparently seem to get bigger as the days go by. My humiliation is becoming acceptance as routine is becoming comfortability. These pre adult children are masters at performing to show angst between disgust and desire. Which adds to the shame. Of what’s being done to me.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.