When I turned 20 years old, an older man I respected offered me alcohol after a celebratory party. He seemed drunk and I accepted. I had a few shots of

7 years

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When I turned 20 years old, an older man I respected offered me alcohol after a celebratory party. He seemed drunk and I accepted. I had a few shots of alcohol and we sat down to watch television. He suddenly pulled me closer to him and I froze up. I liked being close to another person, but it felt awkward and too warm. He told me that he liked the way my a** had looked all night. I didn’t say anything – I didn’t have any words. He started nibbling on my ear and asked to kiss me. I don’t remember if I said anything, but we started kissing. He asked if I could strip and I remember agreeing. I stripped and he ended up f****** me in the a**. It felt awful, but he was enjoying himself. So, I let it go on until he said he was about to bust. I told him that we couldn’t do this anymore and that it was wrong. He seemed to sober up then and we stopped. I didn’t have a car and he was too drunk to drive and I was too stupid to get an uber. So I tried to sleep there.

I’ve told one other person that I’ve drunkenly slept with another man and I don’t think I’ll be able to tell another. I felt betrayed and aroused that night, and like a piece of trash the next morning. I still have to interact with that man at a place I work at, as we agreed afterward that it never happened.

New Confession

I’ve lost my Ego, self respect and dignity. I have nothing own nothing, am nothing but worthy of whatever the bully wishes from me. And what that means is that my life is to be exposed, exhibited. Be degraded daily by my bully so he can get off on his thrills of humiliating me in front of however many or little amount of kids happen to show up. The crowds apparently seem to get bigger as the days go by. My humiliation is becoming acceptance as routine is becoming comfortability. These pre adult children are masters at performing to show angst between disgust and desire. Which adds to the shame. Of what’s being done to me.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.