I fantasize about having someone fucking me against a wall. Having them throw me on the bed. I want something rough but not painful. I think about this

7 years

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I fantasize about having someone f****** me against a wall. Having them throw me on the bed. I want something rough but not painful. I think about this all the time and touch myself. Im only 15 and I feel icky because of this. I don’t know what to do

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I wear women’s clothes and

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.