I went to a strip club. My friends took a video of me getting a lap dance and somehow my wife got it. Now she is acting strange. She bleached her

7 years

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I went to a s*********. My friends took a video of me getting a lap dance and somehow my wife got it. Now she is acting strange. She bleached her beautiful hair, started dressing slutty, started wearing a lot of makeup, and has a consultation for breast implants soon. I think I made her feel ugly and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done. I didn’t want her to change, I was just being stupid with my friends. When I try to talk to her, she just shuts off. She won’t cuddle with me, go out with me, or tell me about her day. She just has s** with me and leaves immediately to lock herself in the office room and sleep on the couch. Even the s** is different, she won’t look me in the eyes or kiss me. I think I destroyed my marriage and my wife. I’m such an idiot. I wish I could travel back in time and beat the s*** out of my past self when he got out of his car at the club parking lot. I’m so goddamn sorry, babe.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.