I know that fairytales aren’t real and dashing princes don’t crawl out of the wood work or magically appear and whisk you off your feet. But it frustrates me so badly when I am repeatedly told that “a real woman” would take charge and ask anyone she wants out on a date or for a night. Maybe that’s not what I want and I am sick and tired of people telling me to do so! Maybe I need a man to ask me first because I don’t have the courage to ask. I can stand my ground, I can make my own living, but maybe I don’t have the courage to step into something so bizarre and foreign to me as romance on my own. Why can’t I expect an interested man to take the first step? It’s not about chivalry, feminism, gender roles. I have tried to “woman up” and ask first. And that has gotten me nothing but humiliation, heart ache, and a distinct self-esteem issue that discourages me from ever trying again. I don’t want to be taken to an expensive restaurant, I don’t want jewelry or gifts, I don’t need a prince or a royal or a rich man. I just want someone to actually show an interest in me! I’m sick of being “scary” because I have self-respect and can make friends. I am sick of being considered a complete flirt or s*** because people mistake my politeness or flirtations. I need a man to ask me out first because I have tried and tried and failed and failed and I need to know that there is a possibility that someone out there actually WANTS me. I don’t want to be alone and it hurts me inside that I’m the only one that is. How can all my friends be repeatedly be asked out and find good relationships and I can’t!? Why can’t someone love me too? Why hasn’t anyone asked me? I don’t know if you could love me if you never say anything…