I feel horrible..like.. Really really shitty I have a crush on my best friends boyfriend. I never wanted to, and I swear that if I known that they had

7 years

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I feel horrible..like.. Really really s*****
I have a crush on my best friends boyfriend. I never wanted to, and I swear that if I known that they had been dating I wouldn’t have ever thought of him that way.. But he’s just so sweet, considerate, mature, kindhearted, funny, and a wonderful person. She’s so lucky to have someone like that love her, and I feel so bad about liking him.
I would never try anything with him, but sometimes.. I just want to tell him. I want to get it off my chest, but then I’m afraid of him reacting badly. I don’t mind a rejection, I’m just scared that he’d tell her. I don’t want to lose my friendship over some guy but everytime I see them talking or showing affection it’s like I’m being stabbed in the heart with dozens of glass shards all at the same time.

-A

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.