I was dating a boy last year and he kept bringing up the fact he had numbers of girls that sends him nudes on his phone and how I’m not the ethnicity he

7 years

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I was dating a boy last year and he kept bringing up the fact he had numbers of girls that sends him nudes on his phone and how I’m not the ethnicity he would imagine dating and all these things. It got me upset and it made me feel unloved and I told him and he apologised and shrugged it off but he kept bringing it up again and again. I asked him why didn’t he delete the numbers and he never replied. so I seeked other ways to feel love. I came upon this other boy, we started talking more and he made me feel so loved and all. Sooner those three words you say when you’re in love started to exchange. I felt bad for my boyfriend and that boy. The boy knew about my problems with my boyfriend back but that didn’t stop him trying to make me his. Soon after I broke up with my boyfriend and I also vanished away from the boy out of nowhere. To that boy, I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you but the guilt of me saying those words to you when I had a boyfriend made me guilty and hurt inside. And I hate myself for that.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.