I'm 16 and when I was 10 my mom made me lie to the courts and say my step father sexually abused me when he never touched me once. I knew him since I was

7 years

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I’m 16 and when I was 10 my mom made me lie to the courts and say my step father s******* abused me when he never touched me once. I knew him since I was 2 and still love him. But the lies my mom made me tell…that he used to sneak in my room in the middke of the night and perform oral s** on me and stick his fingers in my v*****. I feel so guilty. My mom is a very cruel person and my half brother hasent seen his dad in 6 years. He’s 12 now. He doesn’t know my mom made me lie and he hates his dad. I don’t ever want to be hated by my half brother or stepfather because I love them with all my heart. Howmdo I end the trauma? My stepfather has been in prison for 6 years now. My mom said if I ever told, she would kill me and my brother. I don’t doubt that for a second with her bipolar rages.

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I pay hung rentboys to whip my b*** and tell me I have a small d***. I can’t put this in the ‘guilt’ category because I really enjoy it.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.