I’m an alcoholic. I drink 24 hours a day, thus I am never sober but I never really feel drunk either. I know it’s not safe or right but I do drive and go

7 years

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I’m an alcoholic. I drink 24 hours a day, thus I am never sober but I never really feel drunk either. I know it’s not safe or right but I do drive and go to work everyday. I drink at work and in the car sometimes.
My good friend lost her son in an accident last year. The guy who hit him was under the influence. Now every time she looks at me she sees a monster. Last week she told me she can’t be my friend anymore because she has nightmares of me hitting her and her other son. I feel like such a s*** bag. I’m trying really hard to get sober. I hope I have people to come back to after.

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Honda civic eg at Importfest

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.