Why do I fall in love so easy? I'm seeing someone for a long time, just dating. I hate that i catch feelings so quick and when I do I can't let go. I wish

7 years

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Why do I fall in love so easy? I’m seeing someone for a long time, just dating. I hate that i catch feelings so quick and when I do I can’t let go. I wish i could tell my crush how I felt but it would ruin my relationship and I dont think he feels the same way. My partner is so sweet and caring. I feel bad because they dont always really show affection it leaves me aching and sad. Then I’ll feel myself falling for someone. I wonder if they can tell because they’ll start to pay more attention to me. I feel like I have all these emotions and affection building up inside me and I’m going to explode. I cant talk to anybody about it. The people who I can trust I dont think they would look at me the same again. I dont want to hurt anyone. I’m set to self destruct and I dont want anyone hurt trying to disarm me.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.