When I was a kid (like 12 or 13) I wanted to know what a kiss felt like so bad, so I went to my sister's room and kissed her while she was sleeping. I

7 years

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When I was a kid (like 12 or 13) I wanted to know what a kiss felt like so bad, so I went to my sister’s room and kissed her while she was sleeping. I then immediately realized that what I did was fucked up and I got out of the room. I forgot about the incident for a long while, but then this memory came back to me a few months ago (Im 21 now), and it haunts me every now and then. Just to clear things up Im not troubled or anything like that, I don’t have any feelings (or physical attraction) for my sister, and I find what happened extremely disgusting. And the thing is, I know there’s nothing there, it was a kids mistake, yes, but still I just don’t feel comfortable living with that memory, I feel as if I’m lying to my loved ones, I don’t know why, I just feel the need to get it off my back. Problem is I know that no one would actually think of me the same, I mean I myself am disgusted by that memory, I really want to get that memory out of my head, its really disturbing me, and its really hurting me, the fact that I was a kid doesn’t justify a mistake like that for me. To be honest if I was a sick person who was actually into that kind of stuff I would tell everyone about what I did and go see someone for help, but the thing is Im 100% okay, and Im 100% not into my sister (the idea itself makes me wanna puke), so I really don’t need help with that, I just need to get that memory out of my head as its not only disturbing me but actually making me feel guilty about something meaningless I did as a kid. Im not willing to share this incident with my sister, family, girlfriend, or anyone at all, its not a matter of who I trust and all, its just I know no one would ever look at me the same, even tho Im nothing like that. I really don’t know what to do, would appreciate it if someone could help me stop this memory from haunting me.
P.S: I know some of you guys would think if it meant nothing to you then why make a big deal out of it, and for those I say Im not, Im just really disturbed by that memory and I have no control over my brain when it comes to flashing certain memories out of no where…bottom line, I just want it to stop.

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