Holy F*** how am I going to make it through the next 3+ hours of this family Christmas s*** ?
Andy, I’m gonna fucken cut you
Woody from toy story
At my bachelor party late in the night, getting a one on one dance from a tall willowy black girl, she stuck her bare rear in my face, looked back with a mischievous smile, and said, “so you’re here to kiss all other as* goodbye?” So I did kiss it- had Ana*ingus with the stripper right then and there, nobody else ever knew
