Every time I hear about a mass slaughter with a gun - EVERY TIME - I wish i was one of the victims. Then my photo would be in every newspaper in the

8 years

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Every time I hear about a mass slaughter with a gun – EVERY TIME – I wish i was one of the victims. Then my photo would be in every newspaper in the country, people would cry and write tributes to me and speak at my funeral. No one would know I was suicidal for 5 years and didn’t have to go through with it because someone took my life for me! I know my family would be devastated but less devastated than if I shot myself in the head or ate a bottle of Xanax and a fifth of whiskey with a bag tied over my head. Seriously, people, it’s not getting better, but I find things every day to be grateful for and ease my hideous, ongoing isolation from society. I’m sort of just like the shooters except I wouldn’t ever hurt a fly, I let insects out of my window, and pet every dog I see. Holy s*** am I miserable…

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Carspotter416

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.