Iv been into girls since I was 3yrs old I oddly remember checking them out as young as 4 even my attraction for them was very intense from 8-15 yrs old. Then I kind of started liking guys only because I had to but I kinda learnt to like them & sort them out .

But now in my early 40s I can honestly say there has never been a time where I would see a man & say to myself I want to f*** him never have I thought that , but with woman I used to & still say i want to f*** them.

I would just go with the flow if a guy asked me out but deep down I’m not attracted to them, I dress girly because I try to hide my tomboyishness truth is I hate girly s***. I know 100 percent I’d be much happier if I came out but I’m married depressed hoping to god my husband would just leave me so I can be free to be who I really am.
It’s never going to happen & that makes me sad.