I told my mum and my paediatrician that I love music class. But that was before I realised that I wasn’t in the right emotional state to actually complete any work. And so I start missing classes, getting my mum to pick me up early so I wouldn’t have to face my music teachers (one is absolutely terrifying, and the other is so gentle and sweet that I can’t bring myself to go back to mc). I can hardly get any work done in other classes too. It shouldn’t even be that big of a deal. But because of this stupid f****** anxiety, my brain has to repeatedly shove the idea that I’m a selfish a****** down my throat. I f****** hate it. I just want it to stop. I’m only thirteen.
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Ok stop. Stop living in the future. Stop living in the past. You cant change the past, you can’t predict the future. You can’t do any of that.
What you can do is wake up on time every morning, make your bed, eat your breakfast, do 20 star jumps, go to school.
You can sit through your lessons, try your hardest to complete any work set/taught that lesson, and follow instructions.
You can go to your music lesson, even if you’re scared of the teacher, even if you are worried you’ll disappoint the nice one, you can still go and do your best.
you have done this before, you can do this again.
This you can do.
Then you can go home and feel that you accomplished everything this stranger has asked of you.
You don’t know this yet, but even though you don’t feel it, you are very young. The things you choose to do or not do don’t really matter at your age, at least no where near as much as it feels like it does. Just try your best to work hard and not worry and overthink everything. You will be fine 🙂 (why the 20 star jumps? don’t question the stranger, just do it!) Kind regards, someone with ten years on you.