my grandmom died a few weeks ago… i cried minutes after hearing it i wasn’t that close with her since she was on my dads side and he’s kinda outta the picture i lived with them for a lil back when i was 8-11 ish during summers or weekends. i hate funerals and when i heard hers was the friday after her death i told my mom i didn’t want to go because funerals weren’t my thing my cousins all asked where i was and my dad was upset i didn’t go even though i don’t care ab him i did care about her. i regret not going but i didn’t want to cry infront of everyone. i feel so much guilt and feel wrong and almost like i disrespected her. i don’t know how to make it up to her since she’s gone. this is something that will always cross my mind till the day i die