I am a woman almost in her thirties. I am in a relationship with a man I truly love. Unfortunately I was not sextually active before him and he has told me all about his sextual encounters before me, but always tells me he is happy that I was a virgin when we first had s**. I feel like I dont know myself sextually and I missed out knowing so much before entering a committed relationship. I don’t want to break up or jeopardize our relationship by finding myself sextually. Because of this I have fantasized about being raped just so I could have some other kind of sextual encounter withough cheating or breaking up.