I have been addicted to p*** and s** for 14 years. Thankfully I have a wife and a job and when she is around I am able to control myself for the most part. When she is away I go on omegle and sometimes it takes all night to find a female to watch me do my thing. My p*** addiction started in middle school but it was mostly benign until I got depressed and spent a few days in a psych ward. After that I felt that p*** was the only way for me to feel human. My tolerance for it grew over the years, from four hours a day to six and sometimes more. Sometimes the entire day. I don’t know how it got this bad. Sometimes when I do it (m*********) for too long or too intensely I get blood in my stool. I want to be a player and have a lot of girlfriends but I just don’t have the personality for it or the income. I have a specific body type and look in a girl that I have a fetish for. I work as a teacher and one of the girls fits the fetish perfectly. She is 16 so I’m uber careful not to show what I am thinking. But inside I think she is gorgeous and if I had the chance I would probably be the best lover she would ever have. I know this may sound terrible to you. I wish I could know what I would think of her if I wasn’t a s** addict. In another culture this would be normal. I want to lock eyes with her so badly and give her a look that says, “I would give it to you so hard on your desk if no one was around.” But I just can’t because of the rules and the law. Her eyes are so soft and beautiful and I want them, but I never will have them. I humble myself by remembering when I was 16 and I wanted the girls to look at me but they never did. I was the same back then, I found one girl and I stuck with her. I just wish this fantasy wasn’t so strong.