So my friends found my tumblr blog, and when i was 12-13 i was really into fontcest, and just. Really fucked up sruff. Like, s****/loli, i*****, gore, r***. Yeah it was awful and they saw some of it and i managed to delete it before they saw the worst of it. But i feel f****** sick and deeply ashamed. I managed to convince them that i wasnt like that anymore but that awful feeling is there. They say they still love me and they dont really care but i want to vomit. I feel so disgusting and ashamed. They dont….really think of me any different. It really just effected me more. I feel like i need to get my stomach pumped. It was a huge invasion of privacy. Something i wanted to take to my grave. I dont know what to do or how to get this feeling to go away. Ive never been so humiliated and horrified in my life. Haha. Im a fucked up person and i know that and i accaptrd it but i never wantrd anyone to see that side of me. I dont think theyll talk behind me back i hope. They think im not like that anymore. Whenever my friend mentioms kids i keep expecting her to be like “oh yeah eww u were pedoy as a kid lmao”. F***. Im not a p********. I was just a kid into kids my age and i didnt understand. F*** f***. I hate myself