I loved this girl soo much. We were togeather since childhood for 3 years. She was my life and loved me a lot. But I made her go because I was afraid that if we couldn’t get married she would get a lot hurt so its good to let her go while she was just 17. But I can’t live without her I begged her to forgive me and come back but now she doesn’t even hate me she has no feelings for me. it’s been 4 years we talk sometimes but she doesn’t care about me.

since I made her go I do every single thing that would destroy me, mentally physically even professionally. I give myself a lot of pain. I try hard to let her go but it doesn’t help. every time I try to stay away I text her again and get humiliated by her ignorance. I don’t know why this is happening to me? I wanted to share my feelings with someone so that someone could tell me why I am like this