I’m white and I feel like people of color look down on me for my race. Okay- Before you jump and say “White racism doesn’t exist” I want to point out that i’m a caregiver. I care for the elderly,whether it be physical needs or cleaning their rooms. Think a mash up of a nurse and maid, but I had to get qualified for my job(Just like a nurse). I’ve worked at several homes of people of color, and it was not only the elderly, but their entire family that looked down on me. By this I mean they blatantly pointed out my whiteness, and that I wasn’t doing my job well because I was white. “That’s my white maid. She doesn’t do a very good job,though. Probably because she knows she got that white privilege that prevents her from being fired.” I had even been told to leave once the client saw me. I can never forget a sweet looking elderly woman screeching at me to get out of her house. “Get out of my house you filthy white b****.” Etc. Once, when I was about 7-8yrs old(in the 90s) A group of colored kids approached me and told me that my mom and I didn’t belong at this church and that if I didn’t tell my mom I wanted to leave they would beat me up. I refused and they told the pastor I called them the “N” word, which I didn’t even know. I barely comphrended the entire situation, let alone this word that made everyone in the room uncomfortable. One kid’s father wanted to beat me himself for apparently saying this word. And yet.. Everyone says white racism doesn’t exist.. So why is it I feel like because of my race, i’m looked down on? I feel so guilty about this. Everyone else must have it worse.. I’m sorry.