8 years
x
447 Views

I am a 24 yr old male. I have been s******* abused as a child and it has caused serious marriage problems when being intimate. I have looked up sickening things on the internet which lead to even worse things coming up as a search result. I just want all these thoughts to go away. I am not a bad person. I avoid conversation about having kids with my wife because I have so many fears and I keep a lot of things bottled inside me. I am terrified to go to a public confession or talk to absolutely anyone about the serious troubles I face. I try to convince myself that this is temporary. That I will get over it. I don’t want to live my life like this. I have so many things I want to accomplish.

I just want to live a normal life. I want to be a wonderful father some day and a great husband. I want to enjoy my life and my marriage but I have no idea how to purge these demons that haunt the back of my mind every single day. It used to be easy. As a teenager it was like filling up a far with pennies and sealing it. 1 penny for every horrific thing that’s come across my mind. Drop a thought in to the fortress that made up my mind and lock it away. It’s become so much harder to do that. These past few years I’ve felt my mind slipping.

I have a clean record. Not one crime, ticket or court date. I’ve never even been confronted by the police before. I’ve never done anything out-of-line. But the thoughts of me doing things out-of-line are frequent. This is my first attempt at even trying to speak about it. I don’t know how to move past these things or to get them out of my head.

I just want to be normal. More than anything.

New Confession

I would just have the bookstore couple days ago , and it was packed in the theater and a guy got up and so I sat down. The guy next to me, leandover and whispered in my ear.If I would wanna follow him home. I told him sure. I followed him home and we went through the garage and his wife was standing there with the door open . We went into his den, and she must have set it up for us.The couch was around an empty floor except forA blanket. We both took off all our clothes and laid down and s*** on each other. He came in my mouth and i did c** on his. We sat up and there was kids watching us three girls and one boy. His wife heavy removed her robe that she had on and the kids were naked too. His wife showed me to the bedroom were we started having s**. She got off really fast and them the son came in and told us that he wanted us out there
We got up and walk and sat down and one of the daughters to mu hand and tells me let me show you my room. We went into her room and sat down on her bed and she got up in her bed and told me to f*** her. I was hard as a rock and she guided me right into side of her. We started f****** and she was so so tight I came so fast and I could tell I was filling her up with my c**.
She knee that I had c** and she said you need to do the same to my sister’s. So we walked out of the room and the next daughter took me into her room. She did the same thing she guided me right inside her and she was so tight that I came so fast. We got up and i did the same thing to the young daughter. But I stayed in her room most of the night and I fucked her again in the morning. She was so full of c** that it was coming out of her . Her dad told me o did a good job and to go home I put my clothes on and his wife handy me a piece of paper and told me to call.

Related Confessions