My depression took a turn for the worse. I’ve been shutting myself out for over a week, and yesterday, two of my friends paid a short-notice visit to cheer me up. I managed to get up from bed, tidy up myself and the house, and even biked to the store to get us fruits and biscuits and tea, so they managed to make me activate myself. I want to say I loved it and it made me happy but… I can’t feel anything profound. I’m insanely honored and I see I’m loved because they came to visit because I’ve withdrawn, but I can’t feel happiness about it. It’s like these feelings are behind armored glass and I try to weakly tap on it in the hopes of the feelings coming to me. Ardy and Mori, I love you two, and I’m sorry I can’t feel happy about your wonderful visit. I hope I can in the future feel retroactive happiness.