I meet a guy 3 years ago I meet a guy and he told me to get on birth control. I was always bad with pills it was difficult. He would say he would only have unprotected s** with me and no one else but we had an open relationship while he sleep around with other girls I stayed only with him. I wanted true love I my life. He would get mad and say we were done talking but then text swing we needed to figure it a way to make things work. He would talk to his mom about me and not about all the other girls. I wanted a serious relationship whenever we would have s** I would s*** him off to keep the c** and try to insert it inside me. Tried numerous times never got pregnant. Then one thanksgiving he cake over to have s** with me and left to be with some girl but he doesn’t know I know. I masturbated wishing my dream would come true had his c** all inside me and held my legs up. A week after he stop talking to me for another girl. Came to gave me my keys I admired I was late. But I made i bed and layed in it. I was going to raise my baby alone but I made sure the girl knew what type of men he was and she left him. I stop talking to him he started showing up at my house. He would try to force me to get an abortion which I do not believe. I told him either you let me be myself and raised my hold alone or you try to make this relationship work. He stayed but behind my back talked to his ex and did some shady things. He has made me feel bad about myself, hit me, broke me down and I stayed I feel is my punishment for tricking him. Our son is now Two and he says he will never love me that his feelings won’t grow but that we can stay in the relationship. I try to force it so much because I’m overwhelmed with guilt. My son is the best thing that ever happen to me but I regret having the baby with his father. He broken my spirit and now I do not believe in love. I recommend never ever tricking someone to have them stay. I do not know why he hasn’t left me but I know he tells me all the times he don’t love me but he hasn’t left me. I feel sorry for my son and I hope one day he will forgive me. I hope someone will learn from my mistake. Please do not do this ever.