it was valentines time day and me and my best friend made a pact; if we both didn’t have a valentines dates we would go down on eachother. so valentine’s day rolled around and of course, we didn’t have dates. so she came over and everything was normal, both not taking about the pact until she brought it up. she asked if i was serious, when i replied with a yes and we ended up going down on eachother. that was an eye opener for me, realising that i may not be straight. it was hard, closeted i become and i would hook up with woman all the time; still do. but i have an insane guilt because i lead these lovely people on, some of them even tell me they love me. i end up running away, leaving them because i’m so f****** scared.