I have been fantasizing a lot about running away from my life. I feel so trapped. I have a lot of kids, way more than average. I have a wonderful husband

9 years

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I have been fantasizing a lot about running away from my life. I feel so trapped. I have a lot of kids, way more than average. I have a wonderful husband who has just been hitting his stride. I live somewhere I love, and I have a job that, while I don’t love it, pays me extremely well. It used to be that my love for my husband made all of my other frustrations and feelings of being trapped ok. But as he’s been happier and happier with his job, I’ve felt lonelier and more distant from him, to the point that the idea of just picking up and leaving has been crossing my mind every day. I don’t think I’d actually do it, but the fact that I’m thinking about it so much is obviously a problem. I want to talk to him about it, but I know when I do it will crush him, and I don’t want him to feel bad that he’s finally happy and now I’m not. I feel like I have to s*** it up, and just try to make the best of the situation I’m in…my kids are older and will all be leaving home in the next couple years. I just feel like I’ve been putting everyone else before myself for so long and I’ve reached a breaking point.

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