I feel like killing people. I’ve been bullied from middle school to college. I bought a knife for self defense. I’ve been holding back on using it because I know the kind of treatment people who behave like that get. But every time I watch the news, it makes me feel like people are just too fucked up to ever like, especially the hatred I see. If we live in a world where somebody can get murdered simply for the color of their skin, and the judge does nothing to stop this injustice, then isn’t it natural to conclude that all people are evil? I’ve been meaning to tell someone this for a long time before I lose my mind, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t even know how to start the conversation, so I hide behind the monitor and talk about it where I feel a little bit safer. A counselor (I’ve talked to many) is going to tell me the same lines I’ve always heard. Just believe in yourself and don’t let others’ actions effect you. Well, what if that advice is inherently flawed? If somebody steals from me or hurts my family, how do I just let that go? This is definitely a confession I’ve needed to make for awhile now. Hopefully confessing will lessen my desire to hurt people in real life, because it has been VERY tempting over the last couple months.