I watched p*** and I feel really bad about it. I have stress attacks because of it.
I regularly think about hurting myself. I used to sh years ago but I’m 2 years clean now. But when it gets late at night or when I’m alone, I think of bashing my head into the floor, or taking as many pills as I can. I might think of dying sometimes but most of the time I think of the pain that might come with these things. Like how I might internally bleed or choke on my own vomit. I don’t feel normal. Not when I have these thoughts almost nightly.
I am cheating on my boyfriend of 4 years with a guy I met at uni. Although it is only for quick s**, I feel very guilty for betraying my boyfriend. I just don’t feel that connection anymore, and the s** is not as good. It’s not worth breaking up over this because my bf is the best ever. I just really miss this s***** rush and pleasure that I cannot get from him
