I hate myself so much for my attachment issues. I always hurt the people I care about because I get attached easily and start caring too much. When someone I am so attached to stops messaging back, paying attention to me, and caring, I do crazy things to check if they are online and just ignoring me. I don’t stop until I discover who they are giving all their attention to, and then I’ll start stalking the person they talk to more often than me. It’s way worse when it’s out of the blue, which makes me more inclined to find every piece of information about that person. I know I am in the wrong for doing this, and after the person eventually finds out about this, I panic and pressure them to forgive me and stay. I don’t justify my actions, I do believe I’m weird, creepy, and evil, but I care too much to let the person go. It works a lot, and I feel like a manipulator. I want to stop seeking strong friendships and relationships because I know that in the end, both of us will end up hurt. The harsh reality is that I also go crazy when I don’t have anybody to obsess over. I can never win.