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a truth, Other
13 years
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Ive never had a father. My real dad as my mom says never cared for me he was into drugs and he had no job. They divorced when i was 2 and then she met my step dad who is this kinda strict guy and he has no emotions and he worked nights so i could never spend time with him cause he was usually sleeping. I never bonded with him and it really feels like i have no father. It also dosent help when he yells all the time for even the smallest things and its his age cause he doesnt know hes yelling. I told my mom i felt that i never had a father and she was sad that we neer bonded but never having a father has lead me to think that i missed out on so much. Most of my friend s know about cars and stuff guy should know about but i never had a father to teach me. Ive missed out on not having a father and its not like ive tried to bond with my step dad but he dosent really want to talk about anything.

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.

2 Views