My whole life is a lie. I have never been able to come out to my friends or my family. I am in my mid 30’s and still in the closet. I’ve pushed away friends and family members so they won’t get too close. Part of this is because I grew up in a strong Italian Catholic household. I’ve never been able to reconcile my faith and my s********. I’m a mess. It’s ruined everything about me. The worst part is that I pushed away my best friend and he was someone that I truly genuinely loved and cared for. This happened years ago but it haunts me everyday. I recently saw him at the bank and i ran out of there when i realized it was him. I hate myself. Everyday is a struggle. I’m such a waste. At this point I’m just an emotional vacuum. I can’t experience joy or sadness. I’m bitter and feel old beyond my years. Like an 80 year old man.
