I'm not in love with my boyfriend. I love him. But I'm not in love with him and I am not physically attracted to him. I have tried to be and made excuses

9 years

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I’m not in love with my boyfriend. I love him. But I’m not in love with him and I am not physically attracted to him. I have tried to be and made excuses and prolonged our relationship far far far too long than I should have. I feel terrible but I was always holding on, wanting to believe it cous change because he is amazing. But he is just more of a friend and that’s all there is to it. But he keeps talking about our future and our future children etc and it’s tearing me apart. I want to tell him so badly but we are travelling at the moment and I don’t want to hurt him when he has no friends or family to fall back on. He isn’t as emotionally strong as I am. So til them I am …suffering in a way. It seems to be physically manifesting itself in stomach pain, headache, stress symptoms. And yet I know I’m doing the right thing. What makes it worse is I know it’s gonna cause me to lose most of my friends…we have lots of mutual friends but they will all side with him, probably rightly so but still..I can’t help but feel sad knowing the on slaught of comments and loneliness.

Regardless, I have to follow my heart, though all the world should turn it’s back on me and it’s gonna be a painful path..but I solemnly believe it’s the right one…

That is all. Thanks for listening.

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