I don’t like my mother. I don’t trust her.

I have lots of reasons to suspect her first son my oldest brother is a b****** child. He doesn’t look like us. His super aggressive violent temper is unlike any of us. She protects and foments the chaos & evil he brings into the house. After beating up my father in front of us all my mother said she’d divorce my father if he kicked him out. Just last week, after no communication for 10 years, she phoned to say none of my children look like me. Called my wife a w****. I think it was another weak attempt at her confession to having a b****** child. Like when I was in High School and she took me to lunch – unprecedented – to confess to me that the true love of her life was a man she knew in Germany when she was entertaining the troops. Was it this foreign man’s child she was carrying when my father & she walked the aisle pregnant in the 1950s?

She’s a tortured person. As her father did to her she has forsaken me and my children, her 4 beautiful grandsons whom she will probably never know. She’s an expert s*** stirrer. She’ll probably go to her grave with this secret.

I forgive her.

I feel guilty for saying it but I don’t want her, and all that, in my life, nor in the lives of my wife & children. She’s poison.