I’m in my early thirties I’ve only been truly in love a few times in my life.
I’ve also only had maybe 3 real relationships. Those two facts do not overlap.
It’s always the same story; the wonderful women who I’d love to have shared (part of) my life with can never return my feelings. “I like you as a friend” “You’re just not my type””You’re my best friend and I don’t want to ruin that.””You’re my housemate, it would be awkward” (Okay that last one was just about s**, but goddamn do I love her.)
I don’t blame them, I don’t resent them (not too much anyway, what’s the point?) If the feeling’s not there, it’s not there.
But I do have needs,companionship, intimacy, s**, etc those kind of things. So I went out looking for girls/women who did find me to their liking. As soon as any woman showed any interest, and I found them acceptable enough, I moved in, courted them, told them the sweetest lies, and the poor things fell hopelessly in love. However I merely settled. It could never last, you can’t sustain a relationship without genuine mutual feelings, and being a coward I let them drag on far too long. Tears, broken hearts always followed.

There is a profound disparity between the women I really like, and the women who really like me. It depresses the hell out of me, it’s like a jigsaw from hell, there’s no piece that truly seems to fit.

This depresses the hell out of me.
Time for another drink.